dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
