thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
