I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
