You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He better not be in your backpack
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
