how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize