he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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