she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
