I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
