so that wasnt chicken after all
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Floor bacon is actually really good
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
