I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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