i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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