Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
