You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Never underestimate the power of titties
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
