I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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