so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
