well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
he fucked my hip out of place.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Couch. On fire.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize