apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize