Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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