Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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