walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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