oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize