i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
