I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
