So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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