This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
