I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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