My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Welp...herpes.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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