I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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