I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
