I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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