Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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