WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
