a queef is a wish your heart makes.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It's shark week go big or go home
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
