i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
