Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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