i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
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