12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
