We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
