Its about making memories worth repressing
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
