I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
