Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
