I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
