i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Randomize