she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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