i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
