I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
