he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
