Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
