Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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