Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
