Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
