ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
