She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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