so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
