Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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