She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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