how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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