i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
