Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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