a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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