i think i have herpe
just one?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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