I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
