Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
it's like iHOP with fire
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
