we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
