Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
