my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
